(Up until recently, I didn’t know if I’d be able to talk about this, but, well, now I can. Enjoy.)

I’ve been in talks with a major defense contractor for the past year or so, trying to bang out some details regarding a possible opportunity they wanted to extend to me. Just recently I have finally accepted. I briefly mentioned this opportunity to some people while I was at SXSW earlier in March, and sort of left it at that. Anyway, today I’d like to announce that I will be working for Specific Static Corporation, a relatively small but cutting-edge corporation dedicated to advancing defense technologies in land-, sea-, air-, and space-based applications.

Specific Static is an industry leader in the defense arena, and I’m honored to be a part of their small but incredible team. My new role with the company will be as a production technician, testing out all the new technologies brewing in their labs, and evaluating them in the field. The company is providing these technologies to aid in the Global War on Terror, and much of it is being trialed at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. As such, I’ll be relocating to Gitmo and assisting in the testing and launch of these new ‘items of interest,’ and hope to see you, the consumer, benefit later on when they become civilianized.

Also, I’ll be working with some technicians from Aperture Science, a leader in man-sized ad-hoc quantum tunnels through physical space (they also produce shower curtains for the military). Aperture Science has been getting a bad rap lately about an incident with their Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, but I assure you that, having visited their Enrichment Center, the reward promised by the staff is certainly real, and certainly delicious. Anyway, I look forward to the expertise and knowledge Aperture Science is bringing to Specific Static.

All in all, I’d like to thank all of you for supporting me as a missionary, but I feel led to break out into the defense industry, much like father did after his service in the US Army. I hope and pray that you will keep me in your prayers as I go through this major life transition.

Oh yeah: April Fool’s!